This post causes global warming

"Tonight on Fox News at 10, rising divorce rates may be contributing to global warming."

No lie, that was the promo for the local Fox affiliate's news last night. I didn't bother to watch - I'm sure staying up late would have contributed to global warming as well.

As Congress prepares to vote out of committee a massive global warming bill that will regulate our economy to new degrees, stifle innovation, and lead to significant declines in the economic output of our country, here's a list of all the things that legitimate news outlets and research publications have blamed on global warming. This is not just droughts and extinctions, it's important things like hibernation ending too soon (and also too late), the Earth spinning out of control, and the severe threat to outdoor hockey.

UPDATE: Right after I posted, I found this.