Oh, stop complaining

Do you find yourself complaining a lot? Our society embraces complaining, sometimes even requires it. It may relieve some steam, but is it improving anything? Or is your complaining just a gateway drug to gossip, mockery, and, eventually, people complaining about you?

I stumbled on an article by Martha Beck on CNN (yes, it was originally published for an Oprah magazine, but I'll let that slide) called, simply, "Why you should stop your complaining." The article advocates going on a "venting fast," but more than just suggesting you give up complaining, it analyzes why we complain, and where it gets us (which is generally nowhere).

If you think that a venting fast requires willpower, you're half right. After a few whine-free days, you'll find that it also requires courage -- possibly more than you've ever used. To understand why anyone would put themselves through a venting fast, it helps to know a little about the psychological dynamics of complaint.

And she goes into it, and I found it quite on-target.

There can be good venting - complaining about things you don't really want to change - but that's not overly common. Mostly, we're avoiding real change by complaining about the way things are.

A lot of what passes for political discourse today really is just intellectual complaining. Not enough effort is focused on finding real solutions. If I had my doctorate in political science, I would prescribe a venting fast to politicians - and their surrogates. Quit telling us where everyone else screwed up. Tell us what you're going to do.

I'm going to go on a vent diet for the rest of the week. I normally am not much of a complainer (or at least I fancy myself not to be). I try to stay level-headed, and I think that works out pretty well for me. But when I get going on complaining, I really can get going. This week, through Sunday at least, I'm not going to get going. If I start complaining, I'll stop, and starting pondering what exactly is making me mad, and what I can do to change it. And if there's nothing? I'll just let it go.

I'll report back in a week. Wish me luck.